25

Oct

Good and Bad Apologies

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apologize, apology, argument, consequences, Empathy, fight, Mistakes, resentment, sorry

Be a better team member, Communicate, conflict, Connect, Horror Stories, Personal Development, Right Words to Say

There is a good way to apologize and there are many, many bad ways. This week, I provide the formula for a good apology, one that increases trust and confidence. And for fun, I share a laundry list of bad apologies, some of which you might have heard from your own colleagues over the years.

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18

Oct

New Research on Healthy Conflict

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conflict, decision making, devil's advocate, disruptive team member, diversity, jerk, research, team effectiveness

Be a better team member, conflict, Contribute, How to fix teams

There is some new research that helps us understand the conflict behaviors that are associated with improved performance. I went through it and translated the findings into practical techniques you can use to contribute to high performance on your team (and added a bonus list of things not to do).

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11

Oct

Facts Don’t Solve Fights

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arguments, conflict, facts, fake news, Fighting, relationships, team effectiveness

Be a better team member, conflict, Connect, How to fix teams, Personal Development

Are you smart, logical, armed with compelling evidence to support your case? Yeah, I thought so. Sadly, that’s not likely to do any good if you find yourself in a real argument with your colleagues. While facts are great for problem-solving, they’re of little use in conflict resolution. Read on to learn why facts don’t solve fights.

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27

Sep

Your Value is in Identifying the Problem, Not Solving It

advice, constructive feedback, feedback, problem solving, risk management, Ryan holiday

Be a better team member, Communicate, conflict, Contribute, Right Words to Say

You’re smart. You have good ideas. You share them liberally. You create defensiveness. You get frustrated. Neil Gaiman offers terrific advice on why, when reviewing someone else’s work, you should identify problems but not propose solutions.

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23

Feb

How to Have an Uncomfortable Conversation Remotely

conflict, feedback, remote offices, remote teams, video conference, Virtual teams

About teams, Be a better team member, Communicate, conflict, How to fix teams, Personal Development, Virtual Teams

Do you ever have to give feedback or have a difficult conversation remotely? Here are some tips on how to do it well.

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16

Feb

Getting Your Team Unstuck

5 dysfunctions, conflict, dysfunctional team, Fighting, Team Dysfunction, teamwork, toxic team

About teams, Be a better team leader, Be a better team member, conflict, Exercises, How to fix teams

There are good and bad ways to try to get your team to stop behaving badly. Here are my tips.

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19

Jan

Reducing Conflict Fatigue

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3coze

arguments, communication, conflict, disagreement, dysfunction, fatigue, resilience

conflict, Right Words to Say

  I received a great question over Twitter this morning. The person asked, is there another side to the risk of conflict debt (the price we pay for avoiding conflicts that we need to work through)? Is there also a risk of conflict fatigue? First, there’s nothing I like more than starting my day with […]

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12

Jan

The Problem with Agreeing to Disagree

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3coze

conflict, decision making, disagreements, diversity, problem solving, resistance, team effectiveness

Be a better team member, conflict, Contribute, Right Words to Say

If folks on your team are agreeing to disagree, you’re set up for failure. Here’s are the simple steps your team can use to learn to disagree and commit.

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13

Oct

Should you pick your battles?

3coze

animosity, argue, conflict, disagree, diversity, mastering conflict, passive-aggressive, teamwork

About teams, Be a better team member, Communicate, conflict, Horror Stories, Right Words to Say

You tell yourself you’re picking your battles, but are you really just carrying a grudge? If so, you’re entering a downward spiral.

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06

Oct

Recognizing Superpowers

3coze

conflict, decision making, friction, matrix organizations, Team Dysfunction, Tension

About teams, Be a better team member, Communicate, conflict, Contribute, How to fix teams, Right Words to Say

Do you have a colleague that drives you nuts? Have you ever considered that the very behavior that is driving you to distraction is exactly what they were put in the organization to do? Can you appreciate the superpowers in your organization?

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