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Archive for the ‘conflict’ Category

28
Jan

I keep encouraging you to wade into uncomfortable conversations as they emerge to avoid racking up conflict debt. Rather than deferring the topic, or talking only with those who agree with you, it’s best to get the disagreement out in the open. When you do, the point is to find a way to get on […]

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21
Jan

You know that your team is conflict avoidant. You know it’s preventing you from surfacing issues, thoroughly discussing them, and getting them resolved effectively. You really want to make it better, but how do you start? The people on your team (and maybe even your boss) are seriously unwilling to broach any subject that might […]

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14
Jan

This is the last of a series of posts exploring the causes and impact of our profound conflict aversion. I’m exploring how the things we were told as children, taught us that conflict was bad.  “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” or “Mind your own business!” or “You made him […]

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17
Dec

I’m in the midst of a series of posts exploring our profound conflict aversion and its toll on businesses, teams, and individuals. In previous posts, I shared a couple of the things we’re taught as children that give rise to our conflict aversion: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” and […]

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10
Dec

We’re not having enough conflict. We need more conflict to trigger innovation, mitigate risks, surface issues that could erode trust, and to advocate for ourselves. Although you know intellectually that working through the conflict is important, the voices inside your head give you so many reasons why you should avoid it. One of those voices […]

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03
Dec

We’re not having enough conflict. Our conflict debt is costing us dearly: as organizations, we fail to prioritize and accomplish little; as teams, we work around the problem people and overwhelm the good ones; as individuals, we stifle our concerns and become increasingly stressed and disengaged. We need more conflict, but the voices inside our […]

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26
Nov

In my previous post, I shared with you the idea of “conflict debt,” where we avoid the uncomfortable conversations that are desperately needed for the health of our organizations, our teams, and ourselves. When we avoid these prickly situations, we rack up conflict debt and start paying debilitating interest. But if conflict aversion is so […]

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19
Nov

I’m super excited. I’ve finally found the big idea for the speech and book I’m working on. I’ve told you before that it’s about conflict—that’s been clear for a long time. But how do I convince people that conflict isn’t evil and it’s not going to make you a bad person, destroy your relationships, or […]

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29
Oct

Does your team have a “too hard pile?” Is there a list of issues that everyone knows need to be addressed for your business to evolve, but there is tactic agreement that they would be so uncomfortable, so messy to discuss that you just work around them? That’s what happened to a team of doctors […]

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14
May

We blow it when it comes to managing the dominant personalities on our teams. Here’s why. It’s very common for me to work with teams where one strong personality dominates the team and detracts from a positive dynamic.  Often that’s why I’m there–the team hasn’t been able to deal with the person themselves. Now, it […]

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