In moments of weakness, you might let out a nasty remark or be too quick to criticize. New research suggests that your slip will lead to retaliation. Here are the do’s and don’ts to prevent starting a vicious cycle of bad behavior on your team.
I was giving a talk on how to have productive conflict when an audience member asked a great question. She was clear on all the advice and agreed that the techniques I was sharing were great…but! “What if get emotional and I’m no longer in a frame of mind to use these approaches?” She was […]
How many times have you heard someone say, “let’s just take the emotions out of this discussion?” It’s one of my favorite lines I hear in team effectiveness sessions. And when I say “favorite,” I mean, forehead slapping, groan-inducing, “this is going to be a long day” type of favorite. Recently, a colleague shared with […]
“Use your words.” It’s a line you probably heard as a child when you were getting agitated but not articulating what was wrong. Your parents taught you that expressing your frustration in words gives you a shot at making things better. Fast forward to adulthood and ask yourself how well you’re using your words […]
I received another great question from the community this week. “How do I help someone get past a pretty serious grievance with a teammate?” What a great question! Sadly, it’s relatively common to encounter people who feel they have been wronged and are now stuck; mired in bitterness, contempt, and crippled by their negative […]
In my previous post, I talked about emotional reactions to issues at work; specifically, things that make people cry. In that post, I alluded to the idea that advanced warning of difficult messages gives time to process the issue, reduces the surprise factor, and makes it easier to control the emotional side of the […]
Frequently, I watch teams trying to solve an issue that seems straight forward while observing that their behavior says it’s anything but. I see people interrupting, I hear yelling, I notice tears welling up. Then I know that it’s not an intellectual debate, it’s an emotional conflict that’s at the heart of the issue. […]
Sweaty palms, racing heart, sinking posture; that’s where I left you at the end of my previous post: you were deep in the abyss of your stress reaction; battling your stress demons. If you missed it, go back before you read this. There’s no hope of slaying your stress demons if you don’t know […]