Don’t get in the middle of feedback between your team. If someone comes to you, encourage them to share the feedback directly. Doing otherwise encourages passive-aggressiveness and reduces the value of feedback. Here are the steps to build that muscle in your team members.
Work is hard. Sometimes your teammates just need a safe place to vent. As long as it’s just venting, it’s not a problem. Learn the difference between venting, gossiping, commiserating, and wallowing and how to redirect a colleague if their venting turns into something more insidious.
Your colleague is having a bad day (or week, or life). She grabs the empty chair from beside your desk, rolls it over and flops down, legs spread, head back, arms dangling—defeated. She proceeds to unload her troubles on you. You get all the gory details. Once the story is complete, she looks you in […]
Imagine this scenario. You gave a presentation at your team meeting today. It was a progress report on your big project. Around the table, heads nodded. Then this afternoon, as you walked down the hallway, you overheard a conversation between two teammates. One was complaining loudly about what a “crock” your presentation was and how […]
“Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.” -Phillips Brooks, American clergyman (1835-1893) I was looking for inspiration this morning when I stumbled upon this quote. It got me wondering about the small moments that define a team member’s character. It’s those small moments when you decide […]
I was on the stage speaking at a conference about excellence in leadership. I was staring out against the bright lights waiting for the next question from the audience. The question that came made everyone laugh—everyone except me. The question was “why are women so mean to other women in the workplace?” It was a […]
What do you get when you cross complex, pressure-filled team challenges with a general fear and loathing of conflict? You get passive-aggressive behavior. Given how stressful and complicated work has become, it’s no surprise that conflicts arise, but what’s destroying our teams is that we never learned how to have conflict in a way that […]
A great question came up in a conversation I had with an HR practitioner today. She had seen my video on what to do when someone gossips and was sharing the response she often gets when she tries to broach a gossip issue with an employee. She said that many people justify their behavior […]
Do your passive-aggressive teammates regularly drag you into gossip sessions? Are you feeling uncomfortable with these unproductive gripe sessions but unsure how to escape? If you’re going to make your team healthier, you need to shut down gossip. So many people have asked me how they can get out of this situation gracefully that […]
If you even think about using social media to address an issue with a teammate, you have crossed the line. You’ve ceased to be the victim and become the aggressor. What got me thinking about this today? It was an article forwarded to me by my colleague Lisa Langley. You can read it here. It’s the story […]