People are often disappointed on Valentine’s Day because they have grand visions of what would make them feel loved but the fail to share them. The same thing happens on teams: we know what we want, but we don’t communicate it and, instead, set colleagues up to disappoint us. Here’s an alternative to falling victim to the Valentine’s Day Effect.
This just in: new research on the effects of being honest and what it means for you. I’m constantly encouraging people to engage in the productive conflict that will move their team (and their organization) forward. The biggest stumbling block is people’s fear that being honest about what they think and feel will erode trust […]
“Help me understand what you’re trying to achieve.” Once upon a time, I encouraged you to use this phrase as a signal that you’re not connecting with someone’s point and you need them to clarify. Sadly, too many closed-minded, judgmental, passive-aggressive jerks commandeered “Help me understand” and now it’s a weapon. And that’s not the […]
We’re not having enough conflict. We need more conflict to trigger innovation, mitigate risks, surface issues that could erode trust, and to advocate for ourselves. Although you know intellectually that working through the conflict is important, the voices inside your head give you so many reasons why you should avoid it. One of those voices […]
Craig and I flew to the west coast last week to work with a great group of people. We were there to work with them on building a high performing team, but by the end of the day, it was clear that they don’t need to be a team. Although it doesn’t happen often, sometimes […]
I’m doing a bunch of interviews in preparation for a team effectiveness program. Mid-way through the third interview, I covertly open my calendar to double make sure these people are part of the same team. The team being described by the third interviewee bears no resemblance to the one described by the previous two. After […]